He's not gay!
by bubblisiousmax
Summary: takes place near the end of the movie, Reelena has a mental breakdown. warning hinted yaoi, naughty language and castration. may or may not be a 1shot, depends on the reviews.
1. Chapter 1

well i found out how to use word processor! hooray fetus! lol well now i can update things! yaay!

disclamer-i dont own gundam wing

this takes place during the ending of the movie right after maramia left to the doctor with lt. une...you know...in the control room were dakem was killed? with the big monitor? and the rubble? yeaaah...R&R

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"...its finally over" Reelena said as she craddled heero's passed out body. 

"hnn" he grunted. reelena smiled and stroked his hair.she closed her eyes and thought of all the wonderful things they could do now that the war had been done.

"ahh-ah" she looked down at heero worried. "are you alright!" she said shaking him after he started to moan uncontrollably.

" Ah duo! your so tight!" some of the soldiers behind her in the now in shambles control room began to laugh.

"shut up! he could be just really hurt!" she glared hard at them, pulling heero closer to herself.

this only made them laugh harder. Reelena felt a tear begin to fall down her face. he is not gay! she thought to herself. "...what _about _Reelena?" she hurd Heero say, as if he were answering some sort of question," I dont love her, your the only guy for me..." the tears began to fall faster.

"woah! one of the most dangerous people in the universe is gay!" said one of the soldiers in astonisment.

"SHUT UP! HE IS NOT GAY!" she yelled in anger while lifting Heeros still unconsious body over her head. She then proceeded to throw him at the laughing solder.

after registering what she had just done she ran over to Heero, who was begining to come to. "huh? duo? is that you?" Heero said in a daze.

Reelena was pissed. she charged head first at Heero, like a crazed bull. Heero, having the reflexes of a cat...on crack, did a backflip on to a different soldiers head, balancing on his pinky. The soldier didn't know what happened. One minute he waslaughing his ass off, the next he has a gay gundam pilot balancing on his pinky on his head. Then almost in slow motion, he saw her. The moment he made eye contact, he knew he was going down. In his fear stricken moment his knees bucked and he was paralized. "oh shit son-" was all he was able to say before he lost cosiousness. Heero saw it too. In slow motion he saw Reelena hit the soldier with the force of a fifty mega ton nuke full of raging rage. The moment she made contact, he knew that that soldier was never going to walk right again.

after that had passed heero realized that he was sprawled on a computer console, and Reelena was looming, yes, looming over him like an ominous yaoi fangirl/boy club. Heero shuddered. Reelena put her hair in a ponytail. "how do you like me now? is this man enough for you!" she yelled.

Heero was scared. Reelena looked down at the ground and saw something. she grabbed it and went to one of the passed out soldiers. The other ones had already fled in fear. she began to undo his pants, witch confused heero very much. She got ahold of his manly bits and took the thing she had gotten off the floor and began going in a back and forth motion. It was a knife that one of the fleeing soldiers had dropped, Heero gathered. Heero cringed as she saw her finish her castration. she ran over to Heero who had been paralized with fear like the soldier who had no penis now.

"how about this!" her eye twitched as she waved the disembodied penis in his face, then stuck it down her pants. "how do you like me now, bitch!" Heero ran like the wind away from that crazed bitch. the last thing he saw her doing was a pelvic thrust in his direction.


	2. Chapter 2

isnt that funny how the first chapter was 666 words? am i the only 1 who noticed that? lol oh well.

disclaimer-dont own gw...sigh

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As Heero made his way thriough the corridors, he could still hear her laughing maniacly, he could still see her finish the castration of the soldier, and he remembered how she did that crazed pelvic thrust tward his fleeing body. Never in his entire career of killing and destroying countless lives, had he been so scared. He closed his eyes to rid the horrible images from his sight. 

As soon as he opened them he realized that a massive spiked wall was not even 3 inches away from him. Still high on the endophine rush he had gotten from running for his life, he managed to gracefully tripple-back-flip onto a tea cup that had been left on the ground for some unknown reason. He gently stepped down, so as not to break the little guy. He moved in closer for a better look, something about it drew him nearer. The beautiful blue design and the white background destracted him from thinking clearly, like wondering what the hell a spiked wall was doing in a mansion, or if Reelena was after him. The ground shook and he looked up. It was nothing. he looked back down to get an even closer look at the tea cup, but it had some how vanished.

"..." Heero said worridly. The building shook again, so he bagan to jog down the hall ways. he admired how beautiful the interior looked even covered with rubble and burn marks. The he remembered that this house was still under ground, and the only way to get it back up was to press a button in the controll room that he had fled from about 46 minutes ago. "shit," he said in disdain. ' i hope she killed her self or something...' he thought. he began to walk back to the controll room. 'it should take about 4 hours for her to bleed to death if she cut her wrists...about 4 minutes if she does it right...hmmm...' he thought, 'i wonder if she actually is smart enough to even go for her wrists...well, she didnt even see how flambouyant i was that one time with Du-' he was never able to finish that thought because he was tackled to the ground by something. His stumach droped as he looked up. "what the hell!" Heero said as he saw something lunge for him again. he dove out of the way just in time to actually make out what was attackng him. To his total surprise it was the Tea cup from earlier!

"What the hell is your problem you great stupid pastry!" Heero yelled at the now massive kichen ware.

"Pastry? im a tea cup, bitch! and your my problem! you didnt take any pictures of you and Duo together!" with that the tea cup lunged at heero again and pinned him to the wall between its body and handle.

"what! if thats all, i'll let you watch us make hot love!" the tea cup stopped and looked at Heero.

"For real?" it said with sparkles in where its eye would supposedly be.

"Yes, but only if you come with me some place really quick."

"Yes! Anything!" It said with enthusiasm.

"Well, its a very very dangerous place," he said cautioning the tea cup.

"So? i get to see hot gay buttsecks!"

"It could potencially damage your psychy for ever and-"

"Hot gay buttsecks!" The tea cup said as if it was reason enough...which it is.

"...Well alright," Heero said, "just dont get in the way."

With that, they continued down the great hallways, blabbering about this and that. For some reason, Heero felt like he could talk to this Tea cup, like he had known it all his life. Not once did Heero question his sanity. Maybe it was because he had an ominous feeling of impending doom that distracted him. oh well.

They were about to round a corner when Heero recognized something. Hi s eyes bugged out and he dove to the wall. The tea cup looked confused, and Heero motioned for him to do the same. So the tea cup dove for the spot next to Heero. " this is the place" heero said into the tea cups side. "what? my ear is about four feet away from where you whispered..." Heero rolled his eyes and said it again in the propper area. The began to devise a plan of attack.

Hero and the tea cup ran into the room screaming there heads off. it seemed they were screaming at an empty room. The monitor flickered and they noticed the mangled corpse laying at there feet. Heero ran to the button in the far end of the corner and pressed it. no response. "shit!" he said and slamed it harder. The tea cup made its way to the body of Dakem at the bottom of the dieing monitor. As Heero began to frantically bang at the button he heard a familiar laugh coming from some where...some where close.

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weee! cliff hanger! 8does cliff hanger dance 


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